How often do you find yourself worrying about tomorrow, the next hour or even the next second! As a mother of two small boys I can tell you most of my time is spent pointlessly looking into the future. Don’t get me wrong, planning is a wonderful trait to embody and my household would be even MORE chaotic if I didn’t plan ahead…but the excessive worrying about the uncontrollable, this is where my anxiety stems.
I have had one HALE of a year! I can’t help but think back on when I thought that the age I am now was “old” and all I want to do is yell at my younger self “I am still young gosh darn-it”. Imagine all the things that went unplanned but turned out great. Think of all the things that had to go wrong so that it would be right.
I was blind entering a friendship with my husband
I was blind starting a relationship with him
I went blindly into our relationship changing to long distance
I was blind entering into an engagement with him
I was blind starting forever with him saying yes on our wedding day
I was blind (and naive) when we started talking about starting a family
I was blind through countless lost pregnancies
I was blind going into a doctors office being told no, it’s not going to happen
We were blind entering the adoption process
We were blind going forward with our first match
We were blind when the placement failed and we were left to pickup the pieces
We were blind when matched again
We were blind the day we met our son
We were blind through our recent pregnancy
We were blind through labor and delivery
and We are definitely blind through parenthood
We have NO IDEA what tomorrow brings. We can plan, have expectations, organize and worry but ultimately, God is the only one not blind. He sees us for who we are and what we are and still loves us. He still shows up for us. He leads us, his blind flock to refuge and promises us a life of happiness. We must only let go and let God! After all, look where is has led us today!
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